Issue 17

In Search of an Excellent You

In This Issue
Lessons I Learned From My Father

Stress Busting Ideas

The Best Gift To Give Yourself and Others

A disciple asked a wise master: "What is failure?"
"True failure is that from which we learn nothing," said the sage. (John Powell)
Growth
You have power, an incredible power for growth in spite of trials and tribulations. Humans are capable of successfully facing the most acute crises and the darkest adversities. That is the extraordinary lesson derived from Victor Frankl's experiences in the Nazi concentration camps. In his unsettling book, Man in Search of Meaning, the Viennese psychiatrist shows how those prisoners who had a strong reason for living, and plenty of spiritual strength, overcame all obstacles. What for others was a definitive defeat, for them was an occasion to retrench (tighten one's belt and use resources carefully).

Yours in Success and Achievement,

Dr. Manuel Escalante (Dr. E)

The Best Gift To Give Yourself and Others
I'm often asked the question, "How can I best help my
children, spouse, family member, staff member, friend etc.
improve/change?" In fact that might be the most frequently
asked question I receive, "How can I help change someone
else?"

My answer often comes as a surprise and here it is. The key
to helping others is to help yourself first. In other words,
the best contribution I can make to someone else is my own
personal development.

If I become 10 times wiser, 10 times stronger, think of what
that will do for my adventure as a father... as a
grandfather... as a business colleague.

The best gift I can give to you, really, is my ongoing
personal development. Getting better, getting stronger,
becoming wiser. I think parents should pick this valuable
philosophy up.

If the parents are okay, the kids have an excellent chance
of being okay. Work on your personal development as parents;
that's the best gift you can give to your children.

If you have ever ridden in an airplane, then you might have
noticed the oxygen compartment located above every seat.
There are explicit instructions that say "In case of an
emergency, first secure your own oxygen mask and then if you
have children with you then secure their masks."

Take care of yourself first... then assist your children. If
we use that same philosophy throughout our whole parental
life, it would be so valuable.

If I learn to create happiness for myself, my children now
have an excellent chance to be happy. If I create a unique
lifestyle for myself and my spouse, that will be a great
example to serve my children.

Self-development enables you to serve, to be more valuable
to those around you; for your child... your business... your
colleague... your community... your church.

That's why I teach development skills. If you keep refining
all the parts of your character, yourself, your health, etc.
so that you become an attractive person to the marketplace -
you'll attract opportunity. Opportunity will then begin to
seek you out.

Your reputation will begin to precede you and people will
want to do business with you. All of that possibility is
created by working on the philosophy that success is
something you attract by continually working on your own
personal development.


Lessons From My Father

My dad had a keen imagination, and we would often play a little good-night game that became our special ritual. He would come into my room to talk to me and listen to the triumphs and tragedies of my day. As he was leaving, Dad had a way of leaning back against the switch by my door and rubbing against it to "magically" blow out my light like the birthday candles on a cake.
As he did his little routine, Dad would say: "I'm blowing out your light now, and it will be dark for you. In fact, as far as you're concerned, it will be dark all over the world because the only world you ever know is the one you see through your own eyes. So remember, Son, keep your light bright. The world is yours to see that way. I love you, Son. Good night."
When I was very young, I used to lie there in bed after Dad left and try to understand what he meant.

It was confusing to think that the whole world was dark when I was asleep and that the only world I would ever know was the one I would see through my own eyes. What Dad was trying to tell me was that when I went to sleep at night, as far as I was concerned, the world came to a stop. When I woke up in the morning I could choose to see a fresh new world through my own eyes -- if I kept my light bright. In other words, if I woke up happy, the world was happy. If I woke up not feeling well, the world was not as well off.
My father's guidance about self-perception and the power in the eye of the beholder was invaluable. What he was trying to teach me with his little light show was this: "Denis, everything depends on how you want to look at what happens in life. It doesn't make any difference what is going on 'out there' -- What makes a difference is how you take it."
Instead of teaching me "my glass was half-empty," my father taught me "my glass was more than half-full." He taught me to view life as something that was continually opening and expanding with new opportunities and events to enjoy.
Somewhere he picked up a bit of quantum physics theory. Depending on the kind of experiment you conduct, a particle of light can become a light beam or a light wave. It all depends on how you want to examine it. The light can change form, not because of its properties -- it still remains light -- but because of how you choose to behold it. My dad taught me that ugliness or beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Want and abundance are in the eye of the beholder. Being mediocre or being the best depends on the eye of the beholder.
Those good-night rituals with my father taught me that it didn't make any difference what the other kids said, what the other kids wore, or what they did. Their opinion of me wasn't that important. What was important was the way I handled what they might do and say.
And the same is true for both you and me today... People's opinions of me isn't what is important, it's the way I handle their opinions and actions that makes the difference.
-- Denis Waitley

Stress Busting Ideas

Let's face it, on a list of high-stress careers, selling has to be up there with tightrope walking. Haven't you had days when you felt that you actually were on a tightrope? I know I did.
To survive, and, more importantly, to maintain a healthy balance in life, we need to be proactive about releasing our daily stress in creative ways.
For some people, exercise is the best way to relieve stress. Physical activity is a civil way to release pent-up frustration without risk of causing harm to yourself or others.
Another idea is to schedule a brief decompression session each day. Go somewhere calm and peaceful where you can simply relax with no further demands on yourself. Once you've taken a few deep breaths and calmed yourself, this is when you'll renew your dedication to your goals, your uniqueness, your purpose, and your faith in your ability to perform at peak levels. This could take as little as five minutes of your time to have a positive effect.
A third idea is to take up a hobby - something that uses different parts of your body or your brain. If you're a parent of young children, I suggest a hobby that you might be able to share with your children. Or even better, make your children your hobby. Find out about something they'd like to learn, and learn it together. This method serves two purposes: you learn something new, and you create wonderful memories with your child.
Insulate yourself from the killing pace of change. Granted, we have to keep up when it comes to business, but do we really need to strive to have the latest and greatest in all aspects of our lives? My answer is no. We don't have to be trendy in every aspect of our lives to keep up. On the contrary, you'll find it easier to run at the front of the pack if you keep your life simple, and if you keep in touch with who you are and where you've come, rather than what you own.
Train yourself to look at time as a precious resource rather than a merciless taskmaster. I am a firm believer in time management - managing to enjoy my life while conducting business, rather than filling in every gap with a meeting or project that will get me further ahead.
Hang out with people with whom you have fun. Seek out and make friends with people who accept and affirm your worth as a person.
Accept your human nature. You'll never have the perfect answer to every question. Don't lead yourself or others to believe you do. Make a habit of searching for challenging new concepts and opinions contrary to your own to help you develop a better understanding of your world and how to live well in it.
Develop your own list of things that make you feel good. Keep that list handy and apply at least one item to your life on a daily basis in order to keep the negative effects of stress at bay.
-- Tom Hopkins

Issue 17

In Search of an Excellent You


In This Issue:
Dear Friends
Build Momentum & Stay Motivated
Winner's Edge

Today I am blessed with this wonderful piece, sent to me by my very dear friend Carlos Hidalgo.
"God does not choose the able, God teaches the chosen"
The last three wishes of Alexander the Great: On the edge of death, Alexander called his generals to his side and told them of his final three wishes,

1. That his casket be carried on the shoulders of the best doctors of that day.

2. That the treasures he had conquered (silver, gold, precious stones), should be scattered on the on the road to his grave.

3. That his hands should be left out of the casket, balancing in midair, for all to see. Surprised by these strange wishes one of his generals asked Alexander why.
Alexander explained:

1. I want the wisest doctors to carry my casket to prove to them that they do NOT have, when faced with death, the power to heal.

2. I want the ground to be covered with my treasures so that all may see that material possessions acquired here, stay here.

3. I want my hands to balance freely in the wind, so that people may see that we came with empty hands, and with empty hands we leave, when we run out of our most valuable asset - time. At death we take nothing of material value. I believe, on the other hand, that good deeds are a type of traveler's check. Time is our most valuable treasure because it is limited. We can make more money, but not more time. When we share time with someone, we are giving them a part of our lives; a part we can never get back. Our time is our life. The best gift we can give anyone is our time, and it should certainly be given to our family, to someone special, or to a good friend. Of course, as we are all one, time shared with anyone is a blessing that will return many times.

Hope Train
Dear friends:

Thanks to all of you who have attended our meetings at the Pomona Valley Mining Company. Most of you are still with us. Please note that the group website is up, waiting for your visit. You had indicated at numerous moments your interest in becoming full members of An Excellent You - well, you can do so now. For a very minimal amount, you can enjoy the benefits of creating the new you, whether personal or professional, and of having your own life coach.

Membership fees are going up soon; do it now! Go to the website, http://hopetrainllc.com and click on the Membership button. You may choose to enroll through Paypal directly, or through other methods offered to you at the Paypal website. The Hope Train website now has many things for you; soon it will have much more as we continue to build and grow - would you believe our newsletter has been sent out to more than 2,000 people? (If you recall, we celebrated our first meeting with about 50 folks). Join us now. Become a member. Let's create your path to excellence. May opportunity always knock on your door.

Yours in Excellence,

Dr E

Build Momentum & Stay Motivated
I'm so mad at myself!" she said as we began our coaching call. "I made a goal to get ten new clients last week and I only got three," she lamented. The frustration in her voice was something I used to experience as well - until I came to a profound realization: Focusing On Your Results Is Dangerous. I used to keep charts all over my office to fill in the names of the people who signed up for my Coaching Program and Retreats. Even after hours of marketing efforts, I would feel defeated if I wasn't able to fill in all of those spaces at the end of the week. My definition of success was only based on results. I was placing all my focus and energy on something I had very little control over. Think about it; you really can't make your prospect buy your product or say yes to your opportunity. So why give so much power to an element that you cannot control? What you can do is show your prospect enough intriguing information, in a passionate way, on a consistent basis, that will touch, move, and inspire them to make their own choice. The only factor you have complete control over is your efforts!So let's talk today about how you can shift your mindset, release the control the results, and focus on your efforts. First, decide how many people you are willing to share your product or opportunity with. Again, the only part of the sales process you have control over is your efforts and the quantity of prospecting attempts you will make. What is that number for you? Powerfully choose how many people you are willing to prospect and be fiercely committed to it. Next, realize that the other aspect of selling you have control over is the number of no's you are willing to take without giving up; or better said, how many no's you're willing to take and still stay motivated, excited, and inspired. The most effective way to do this is to embrace the Law of Average (LOA). Think of it scientifically. How many prospects do you need to share your opportunity with to get a yes? In other words... How many no's do you have to receive to get a yes? For most sales people that number is 10. When I realized this truth, I got freed up of the frustrations that come for 'getting a no'. Getting a no is just a part of selling. The more yes's you get and the bigger you want to grow your business, the more no's you've got to be willing to receive! When I was in Network Marketing I did an interesting experiment that helped me focus on my efforts and stay motivated. First, I knew that, on average, I made $500 on each sale. Then I divided that amount by 10, the number of no's I had to received in order to get a yes (L.O.A.). That meant I made $50 every time I got a no! I actually taped a $50 bill to my phone and every time I got a no, I'd hang up the phone and say, "Thanks for the fifty bucks!"Free yourself up from trying so hard to convince, persuade, and control your prospects. Let go of the results. Put your energy and power into your efforts and you will be an incredible force. Your prospect will sense your unique and confident posture and will want what you have. Think of how powerful you will be when you release what you don't have control over and fervently grasp what you do. The only factor you have complete control over is your efforts!What this really takes is a shift in your mindset. Evaluate the goals you've set and discern if they depend on your efforts or results. Instead of setting the goal of five new business associates, set the goal to put 50 new prospects in your recruiting pipeline. Instead of setting a goal of selling 100 widgets, set your goal to put your widget in front of 10,000 new prospects. The incredible success I have experienced since I shifted attention to efforts instead of results has been nothing short of amazing! And it will be the same for you...The only factor you have complete control over is your efforts! And your efforts are all you need to get the incredible results you desire.

Richest blessings,

Lisa Jimenez

Winner's Edge
The acquisition of knowledge, which is the new global power, is a life-long experience, not a collection of facts or skills. Not long ago, what you learned in school was largely all you needed to learn to secure a career. With knowledge expanding exponentially, this is no longer true. For example, hundreds of scientific papers are published daily.Every thirty seconds, some new technological company produces yet another innovation. Your formal education has a very short shelf life. Life-long learning, once a luxury for the few, has become absolutely vital to continued success. Continue gaining expertise and avoid thinking like an expert.In a world of e-mail, fax dispersal, voice mail, sound bites, concise reports, business plans, and meeting briefs, the individuals who can articulate their goals, substantiate their claims, and support their visions, will own the future. In the 21st Century, literacy will be the major difference between the haves and have-nots. Why do fewer than 10 percent of the public buy and read nonfiction books? One reason is that many would rather get home than get ahead. They are motivated to get by and get pulled along by the company, the economy, or the government. Another reason is that many individuals believe that information found in books, computer programs, and training sessions has no value in the business world. How self-deluding! Action Idea - Increase Your Reading, Writing and Vocabulary Proficiency. One of the most important qualities of successful leaders is an ability to express thoughts and knowledge. Research by management and human resource experts confirms that no matter what the field of employment, people with large vocabularies - those able to speak clearly and concisely, using simple as well as descriptive words - are best at accomplishing their goals. Well chosen, carefully considered words can close the sale, negotiate the raise, enhance relationships, and change destinies.

Issue 16

In Search of an Excellent You
June 8, 2009

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau


FOCUS, please! No one in their right mind would attempt to build a refrigerator that would also function as an air conditioner, a stove, a ceiling fan, and a sprinkler control. Yet, quite often this is how we live our lives, trying to be everything and do everything or anything to satisfy our needs and wants. We hold a job, sell cosmetics or miracle juices on the side (or on the job), get a real estate license (because there's "a lot of money in that" and you can do it on the weekends and nights), and enter a partnership with someone to manufacture the best darn brooms in the business. Whew!!! What a life. What a way to accomplish a lot (do a lot of things) but not achieve much (not do any of them to the very best possible). What a way to hassle through sixteen hours a day.Have you ever tried that? Every which way, every which direction? At the end of the day everyone eats cold pizza because there isn't even time for a decent dinner. What a life; or lack thereof. Imagine if all that energy were concentrated on one or two issues. Imagine what you could accomplish AND achieve. Would you believe me if I told you that I have received up to five different business cards from one person at one sitting? They sell insurance and real estate and cell phone service, and weight loss products, and, if that's not enough, they also call themselves financial advisors. How do you achieve? How do you master anything?

Achievement calls for a plan. A plan preceded by some serious thinking and dreaming and picture painting (I'll talk more about that at some other point). A plan that will help answer, among other questions: Who am I? Where am I going? Who's going with me? How will I get there? What is required to arrive? When I arrive, what is required to stay?

Oh what one can accomplish and achieve with the proper focus, the proper concentration. Oh what one can achieve with a good plan. Do you have one? Do you know what one looks like? Do you know where you're going? Do you know what it will look like when (rather, IF) you arrive? If you ever get there, how will you stay? Do you even, really, know who you are?
On the other hand, are you the type who has never tried anything? Heaven forbid you should have to cross the street because a car might hit you? The same rut day after day, and then, you get laid-off?
Join us at An Excellent You (Hope Train LLC). We will give you the tools to design, create, and implement the person you can and should be.

Yours in Success and Achievement,

--Dr. Manuel Escalante (Dr. E)
May opportunity always knock on your door.

Chase Your Passion Not Your Pension

Lisa, our youngest daughter, earned her master's degree before starting a career as a high school English teacher. At the time of her graduation, I doubt she was more excited than her parents were. As we entered the stadium for the commencement services, it dawned on me that after putting seven children through college and graduate studies, I'd finally be able to fund my retirement plan.
It was very hot in the concrete arena. A midday sun beat squarely in our faces. I suspected that the exercises would be long and merciless. As the graduates filed in, I was amused to see slogans taped to their tasseled caps. "Will work for food!" "Get my room ready, Mom!" Our daughter's read, "Thanks Mom and Pop." Some wore bathing suits beneath their gowns. Some blew bubbles with a pipe and soap. Most were ecstatic about finally leaving school, visibly impatient for that night's parties and for freedom and the opportunity to earn.
As the warm-up speakers droned on about politically correct issues, I wondered whether any time would remain for the main speaker. In fact, his address lasted barely ten minutes, which may have set a national record for brevity. (Winston Churchill holds the international record: thirty seconds to repeat "Never give up!" nine times.)
That main speaker was Edward James Olmos, the actor-activist who played Jaime Escalante in an inspiring movie about inner-city students called Stand and Deliver. Olmos stood up, removed his cap, and regarded the graduates. "So we're ready to party?" he asked. "Yeah, let's party!" they answered in unison. "I know, thank God it's Friday," he resumed. "But commencement means to begin, not finish. You've had a four-year sabbatical from life, and now you're ready to go out there and earn. You're only beginning Real World 101 in your education.
"One more thing before we leave," he continued. "Please never, ever work for money. Please don't just get a job. A job is something that many of you had while you worked your way through college. A job is something you do for money. But a career is something you do because you're inspired to do it. You want to do it, you love doing it, you're excited when you do it. And you'd do it even if you were paid nothing beyond food and the basics. You'd do it because it's your life."What he was saying, which I have tried to recall and interpret in my own words is that many of you will go out and try to get the highest-paying job possible, regardless of the industry, regardless of the opportunity, regardless of the service or product the company may provide. If you chase money, it may catch you - and if it catches you, you'll forever be its slave.
By letting money pursue you but never catch you, you'll always be its master. By always doing what you love, loving what you do, delivering more than you promise, you'll always be underpaid - which is how it always should be.
For if you're paid more than you're worth, you may be restructured, reengineered, replaced, fired, declared obsolete, disposed of. Overpaid people are overdrawn in their knowledge bank account. People who are underpaid for the level and quality of the service they provide are always in demand and always ahead of the money in their knowledge and contribution. So money and opportunity are always chasing them. This is what I got out of the commencement speech that day.
Olmos concluded with a charged voice and moist eyes. "Chase your passion, not your pension! Be inspired to learn as much as you can, to find a cause that benefits humankind - and you'll be sought after for your quality of service and dedication to excellence. This passion will make you oblivious of quitting time and to the length of your workday. You'll awake every morning with the passion of pursuit, but not the pursuit of money.
"Those who do more than they're paid for are always sought for their services. Their name and work outlive them and always command the highest price. Chase your passion, not your pension!"The graduates were stunned. Many cried with joy. I was speechless, which is rare indeed. Olmos was no actor speaking for an honorarium. He was all passion, pure and simple. "Maybe we should have taught that in a class," I heard a faculty member say.
-- Denis Waitley

Issue 15

In Search of an Excellent You
June 1, 2009

"Stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you get married, until you have kids, until you quit smoking, or until your kids leave the house. Stop waiting until you retire, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get your new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, or until the first or the fifteenth. Stop waiting until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you win the lottery, or until the cows come home." -Jeffrey Gitomer (Little Platinum Book of Cha-Ching!)


STOP WAITING - your time is NOW.
More should be spoken of the difficult starts, the doubts, the defeats of successful people. Their success was rarely ever neither fast nor easy - nor did they wait. Their success was not the result of good luck but rather of effort and dedication. Victorious people struggled tirelessly before winning; many times they found closed doors and overcame periods of cloudiness. The actor Burt Reynolds remembers the day he and Clint Eastwood were fired from Universal Studios. "They told me I couldn't act. They told Clint that he spoke too slowly and that his Adam's apple stuck out too far. We walked quietly to our cars, then I finally said, Clint, you're a lost cause. I can take acting lessons, but you can't change your Adam's apple." (Times Magazine, January 9, 1978) With a positive attitude and dedication Burt and Clint made it. A good attitude is an excellent companion in moments of misfortune.

Yours in Success and Achievement,


Dr. Manuel Escalante (Dr. E)




Facing the Enemies Within

We are not born with courage, but neither are we born with fear. Maybe some of our fears are brought on by your own experiences, by what someone has told you, by what you've read in the papers. Some fears are valid, like walking alone in a bad part of town at two o'clock in the morning. But once you learn to avoid that situation, you won't need to live in fear of it.
Fears, even the most basic ones, can totally destroy our ambitions. Fear can destroy fortunes. Fear can destroy relationships. Fear, if left unchecked, can destroy our lives. Fear is one of the many enemies lurking inside us. Let me tell you about five of the other enemies we face from within. The first enemy that you've got to destroy before it destroys you is indifference. What a tragic disease this is. "Ho-hum, let it slide. I'll just drift along." Here's one problem with drifting: you can't drift your way to the top of the mountain. The second enemy we face is indecision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity and enterprise. It will steal your chances for a better future. Take a sword to this enemy.The third enemy inside is doubt. Sure, there's room for healthy skepticism. You can't believe everything. But you also can't let doubt take over. Many people doubt the past, doubt the future, doubt each other, doubt the government, doubt the possibilities and doubt the opportunities. Worse of all, they doubt themselves. I'm telling you, doubt will destroy your life and your chances of success. It will empty both your bank account and your heart. Doubt is an enemy. Go after it. Get rid of it.
The fourth enemy within is worry. We've all got to worry some. Just don't let it conquer you. Instead, let it alarm you. Worry can be useful. If you step off the curb in New York City and a taxi is coming, you've got to worry. But you can't let worry loose like a mad dog that drives you into a small corner. Here's what you've got to do with your worries: drive them into a small corner. Whatever is out to get you, you've got to get it. Whatever is pushing on you, you've got to push back.The fifth interior enemy is over-caution. It is the timid approach to life. Timidity is not a virtue; it's an illness. If you let it go, it'll conquer you. Timid people don't get promoted. They don't advance and grow and become powerful in the marketplace. You've got to avoid over-caution.
Do battle with the enemy. Do battle with your fears. Build your courage to fight what's holding you back, what's keeping you from your goals and dreams. Be courageous in your life and in your pursuit of the things you want and the person you want to become.-Jim Rohn