Issue 8

In Search of an Excellent You

When you begin to feel angry or upset, acknowledge the fact that you own your emotions. When you reprimand someone or express your unhappiness, do it privately and try to do so after the urge to fight or defend has subsided. The best way to get your feelings across is when you can speak in a normal voice, without all the warlike body language. Do speak your mind, but criticize the behavior without attacking the other person. When you speak about your anger or dissatisfaction, say, "I feel angry when I see that happening," instead of saying, "You make me angry when you do that." Only you can make you angry, by your reactions to events.

When you are upset, go for a walk, or exercise, to release the sudden build-up of adrenaline in your system. And remember, there is no such thing as winning an argument. There is only winning an agreement. Don't engage in "all or nothing" management. If things don't work out exactly the way you had planned them, salvage a good situation. Be willing to compromise on a solution, but never compromise your integrity!
Take responsibility for your emotions this week.
Sincerely,

Dr. Manuel Escalante & Edward Rodarte, MBA

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How To Love a Task That You Hate

Successful people make a habit of doing those things that unsuccessful people are unwilling to do. Let's face it. If we are going to truly excel in our life and business, than there are certain tasks that we simply must do. Many of these tasks strike us as just plain unpleasant, even painful.
Unfortunately, we are wired to avoid pain. This means that unless we change our perspective on certain Peak Performance behaviors, we will avoid them, and sabotage our own success.On the other hand, perhaps we will do our necessary tasks,but complete them with clenched teeth, furrowed brows and irritation coursing through our bodies. That state is not very pleasant, and will seriously hurt our productivity.
What happens when we need to speak in that mood? We say ugly, unproductive things! What is the ideal solution? It's simple. Learn to love the task that you hate.Yes, you can. Remember, it is not the task that makes your mood. It's what you tell yourself about that task.Now, the first time I discovered this, I was in a moment of motherhood- vexation. Since then, I've applied this strategy to my business tasks with great success too.

Here's what happened...I was in the mini-van driving all four of my children to all kinds of different places. I felt like I had a hundred other things that I should have been doing, and I realized that Idespised the thankless job of taxi-driver. As I sat there scowling and driving, I realized that I needed help.In a still agitated voice I shouted to the kids, "What is great about car time?"

All four glanced at each other, looked confused and asked"What?""What is great about car time?" I asked, a little nicer. "I know I need a new attitude and I'm feeling stuck."Soon, they came up with some benefits:"We get where we need to go.""We get to listen to new music on the radio.""We get to tell you about our day.""We get to be together.""We get to have our gratitude parties."And on they went.

Somehow, after each idea, I felt better.It was true. We so rarely got to be together at home to talk and sing, and laugh. What a great opportunity we had in the car. Why did I possibly hate it so much? From that moment on, I have loved "car time." I've loved it on long road trips when we were stuck in traffic, and I've loved it when we were just coming straight home after school.

I find treasure in having all four of my kids in such close proximity to me. When their dad is around, it's even better.I've learned to love a task that I once hated. Since then, I've helped myself attach pleasure to all sorts of unpleasant tasks, and the result has been what we're all after anyway - greater peace, joy, and more profit.What is it that you need to do? What is keeping you from doing it with a smile?

I once had a staff member who made his living as a tele-marketer. He totally hated it, until he used his acting skills and started making his calls with different foreignaccents. He started setting records at his company becausehe was having so much fun. At that point, he got promoted to something he truly enjoyed.

What is one success-habit that you dread, but which could make you much more successful? Only you know the answer to that.

Whatever it is, here are three empowering questions regarding that task:

1. Why is this task important?
2. What is great about this task?
3. How can I do it in a way that is enjoyable?

Take a few minutes to answer those questions. We would love to hear what you come up with.

Nothing is impossible. You can think, act, and feel like successful people do, and achieve the same results. You're already successful. Now, play to win.
-Gina Parris

Practice Non-Situational Integrity

Integrity, a standard of personal morality and ethics, is not relative to the situation you happen to find yourself in and doesn't sell out to expediency. Its short supply is getting even shorter, but without it, leadership is a façade. Learning to see through exteriors is a critical development in the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Sadly, most people continue to be taken in by big talk and media popularity, flashy or bizarre looks, and expensive possessions. They move through most of their years convinced that the externals are what count, and are thus doomed to live shallow lives. Men and women who rely on their looks or status to feel good about themselves inevitably do everything they can to enhance the impression they make - and do correspondingly little to develop their inner value and personal growth. The paradox is that the people who try hardest to impress are often the least impressive. Puffing to appear powerful is an attempt to hide insecurity.
In the Roman Empires' final corrupt years, status was conveyed by the number of carved statues of the gods displayed in people's courtyards. As in every business, the Roman statue industry had good and bad sculptors and merchants. As the empire became ever more greedy and narcissistic, the bad got away with as much as they could. Sculptors became adept at using wax to hide cracks and chips in marble and most people couldn't discern the difference in quality.
Statues began to weep or melt under the scrutiny of sunlight or heat in foyers. For statues of authentic fine quality, carved by reputable artists, people had to go to the artisan marketplace in the Roman Quad and look for booths with signs declaring sine cera, which translates in English to mean, without wax. We, too, look for the real thing in friends, products, and services. In people, we value sincerity, from the words, sine cera, more than almost any other virtue. We expect it from our leaders, which we are not getting in our political, media, business and sports' heroes for the most part. We must demand it of ourselves.
Integrity that strengthens an inner value system is the real human bottom line. Commitment to a life of integrity in every situation demonstrates that your word is more valuable than a surety bond. It means you don't base your decisions on being politically correct. You do what's right, not fashionable. You know that truth is absolute, not a device for manipulating others. And you win in the long run, when the stakes are highest.

If I were writing a single commandment for leadership it would be, "You shall conduct yourself in such a manner as to set an example worthy of imitation by your children and subordinates." In simpler terms, if they shouldn't be doing it, neither should you. I told my kids, "clean up your room," and they inspected the condition of my garage. I told them that honesty was our family's greatest virtue, and they commented on the radar detector I had installed in my car. When I told them about the vices of drinking and wild parties, they watched from the upstairs balcony, the way our guests behaved at our adult functions.
It's too bad some of our political and business leaders don't understand that "What you are speaks so loudly that no one really pays attention to what you say." But it is even more true that if what you are matches what you say, your life will speak forcefully indeed.It's hardly a secret that learning ethical standards begins at home. A child's first inklings of a sense of right and wrong come from almost imperceptible signals received long before he or she reaches the age of rational thought about morality. Maybe you're asking yourself what kind of model you are for future generations, remembering that people are either honest or dishonest, that integrity is all or nothing, and that children can't be fooled in such basic matters. They learn by example.To remind myself of my responsibility to live without wax, with sincerity and integrity, I took the liberty of re-writing Edgar A. Guest's poem, "Sermons We See" to apply to setting an example as a real winner for my children and grandchildren.
I'd rather watch a winner, than hear one any day. I'd rather have one walk with me, than merely show the way. The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear. Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear. And the best of all the coaches are the ones who live their deeds. For to see the truth in action is what everybody needs. I can soon learn how to do it, if you'll let me see it done. I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run. And the lectures you deliver may be very wise and true. But, I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do. For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give. But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live. I'd rather watch a winner, than hear one any day.Hey, politician, business leader, motion picture producer, television actor, rock star, sports star. Hey mom, hey dad. Don't tell me how to live. Show me by your actions. You're my role models.

Action Idea: When you talk to others, beginning right now, don't try to impress them by talking about your accomplishments. Let your actions speak for you. Ask more questions.
-Denis Waitley




Mini-Vacations For Maximum Productivity

By re-energizing and renewing yourself frequently, you will avoid burnout and become much more motivated and productive. Don't keep your nose to the grindstone for years and wait for retirement to travel. Balance and consistency are the keys. Enjoy the process, not just the result. Don't fight the passing of time. Don't fear it, squander it, or try to hide from it under a superficial cosmetic veil of fads and indulgences. Life and time go together. Do enjoy each phase of life. Do make the most of each day, and draw maximum joy from each moment.
Many people today are concerned with quality time - time generally defined in part as that spent on recreation, personal pursuits, time with children, spouses and friends. While I certainly believe quality time is important, I believe two other aspects of time are equally important.
First, one must also spend quantity time. The average father spends less than 30 minutes each week in direct one-on-one communication with each of his children. How can we possibly expect good family relationships with so little communication?Second, one must spend regular time. Many supervisors and company presidents go for weeks, even months, without seeing many of their employees. There's no substitute for regular meetings and open forums in which managers and team members can share ideas.
Time has a dual structure. On one hand, we live our daily routines meeting present contingencies as they arise. On the other hand, our most ambitious goals and desires need time so that they can be assembled and cemented. A long-term goal connects pieces of time into one block. These blocks can be imagined and projected into the future as we do when we set goals for ourselves. Or, these blocks of time can be created in retrospect as we do when we look back at what we've accomplished.
It's not in the image of our big dreams that we run the risk of losing our focus and motivation. It's the drudgery and routine of our daily lives that present the greatest danger to our hopes for achievement. Good time management means that you maximize the daily return on the energy and mental effort you expend.
Ways to maximize your time productivity:
· Write down in one place all the important contacts you have and all of your goals and priorities. Make a back up copy, preferably on CD, DVD or Zip disc. Write down every commitment you make at the time you make it.
· Stop wasting the first hour of your workday. Having the chat and first cup of coffee, reading the paper, and socializing are the three costliest opening exercises that lower productivity.
· Do one thing well at a time. It takes time to start and stop work on each activity. Stay with a task until it is completed.
· Don't open unimportant mail. More than a fourth of the mail you receive can be tossed before you open or read it, and that includes e-mail.
· Handle each piece of paper only once and never more than twice. Don't set aside anything without taking action. Carry work, reading material, audiotapes and your laptop computer with you everywhere you go. Convert down time into uplink time.
· Spend twenty minutes at the beginning of each week and ten minutes at the beginning of each day planning your to do list.
· Set aside personal relaxation time during the day. Don't work during lunch. It's neither noble nor nutritional to skip important energy input and stress-relieving time. Throughout the day, ask yourself, "What's the best use of my time right now?" As the day grows short, focus on projects you can least afford to leave undone.
· And as we said at the beginning of this message, take vacations often, mini-vacations of two or three days, and leave your work at home. The harder you work, the more you need to balance your exercise and leisure time.
Action Idea: Plan a relaxing 3-day vacation within the next three months without taking any business work with you. Reserve it on your calendar this week. -- Denis Waitley


To A Child love Is Spelled TIME!
http://www.tacmovie.com/

Fabulous Video! Listed below is a summary of the Video.

In the faint light of the attic, an old man, tall and stooped, bent his great frame and made his way to a stack of boxes that sat near one of the little half-windows. Brushing aside a wisp of cobwebs, he tilted the top box toward the light and began to carefully lift out one old photograph album after another. Eyes once bright but now dim searched longingly for the source that had drawn him here.

It began with the fond recollection of the love of his life, long gone, and somewhere in these albums was a photo of her he hoped to rediscover. Silent as a mouse, he patiently opened the long buried treasures and soon was lost in a sea of memories. Although his world had not stopped spinning when his wife left it, the past was more alive in his heart than his present aloneness.

Setting aside one of the dusty albums, he pulled from the box what appeared to be a journal from his grown son's childhood. He could not recall ever having seen it before, or that his son had ever kept a journal. Why did Elizabeth always save the children's old junk? he wondered, shaking his white head.

Opening the yellowed pages, he glanced over a short reading, and his lips curved in an unconscious smile. Even his eyes brightened as he read the words that spoke clear and sweet to his soul. It was the voice of the little boy who had grown up far too fast in this very house, and whose voice had grown fainter and fainter over the years. In the utter silence of the attic, the words of a guileless six-year-old worked their magic and carried the old man back to a time almost totally forgotten.

Entry after entry stirred a sentimental hunger in his heart like the longing a gardener feels in the winter for the fragrance of spring flowers. But it was accompanied by the painful memory that his son's simple recollections of those days were far different from his own. But how different?Reminded that he had kept a daily journal of his business activities over the years, he closed his son's journal and turned to leave, having forgotten the cherished photo that originally triggered his search. Hunched over to keep from bumping his head on the rafters, the old man stepped to the wooden stairway and made his descent, then headed down a carpeted stairway that led to the den.

Opening a glass cabinet door, he reached in and pulled out an old business journal. Turning, he sat down at his desk and placed the two journals beside each other. His was leather-bound and engraved neatly with his name in gold, while his son's was tattered and the name "Jimmy" had been nearly scuffed from its surface. He ran a long skinny finger over the letters, as though he could restore what had been worn away with time and use.As he opened his journal, the old man's eyes fell upon an inscription that stood out because it was so brief in comparison to other days. In his own neat handwriting were these words:Wasted the whole day fishing with Jimmy. Didn't catch a thing.

With a deep sigh and a shaking hand, he took Jimmy's journal and found the boy's entry for the same day, June 4. Large scrawling letters, pressed deeply into the paper, read:Went fishing with my dad. Best day of my life.